𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙰𝙻 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝙻𝚃𝙷 𝙰𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙴𝙽𝙴𝚂𝚂 𝙸𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙿𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙿𝙴𝙲𝚃𝙸𝚅𝙴 𝙾𝙵 𝚃𝙴𝙴𝙽𝚂:

𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 #1: 15 - year - old Giannella Salas, Tampa, Florida

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Q: Have you been diagnosed by a mental health professional with a mental illness? If so which one(s)?

A: Well I’ve never gone to see someone professional but it’s something i could tell on my own which was depression and anxiety.

Q: Do you think you may have a mental illness? ( answer only if u answered no to the first question)

A: Yes, I'm more than sure I have a mental illness.

Q: What is it like living with your condition?

A: Honestly, it’s frustrating. You try to be happy most days and pretend like everything's alright when it's not. Im forced to pretend and lie to my family and friends.

Q: Tell me about yourself?

A: I'm a sophomore at Alonso High School and i live with my hispanic family. I suffer from depression and anxiety. I would constantly be fat shamed by my family and my sister would tell me hurtful things about myself. Not only that but I have gone through things I shouldn't have to experience so early in life. I’ve loved but I received the backs of those who turned on me. I have let a boy torment me for all of middle school and freshman year. For so long, I let others control me and get the best of me. I could be giving my 100% for someone and they would just slap me in the face with something they did. I’ve been surrounded by fake love but I was too blind to tell the difference. I’d spend most of my time crying to myself and wishing i could’ve done something to prevent the other person from leaving even when it wasn’t my fault. As time went by, i lost motivation to get up from bed and it got harder to focus in school and all i ever did was just stare at myself in the mirror, disgusted with the person who was looking back at me. It was hard not to cut myself or to run away but i still had room to love my family.

Q: How do you cope?

A: I remind myself that I still need to watch over my little cousins and prevent them from going down that route. I also play my electric guitar to get away from my problems or listen to songs that include a guitar.

Q:What do you think caused or contributed to your mental illness?

A: My toxic ex boyfriend, I believe he’s the source behind my mental illness.

Q: What do you feel is the main issue that contributes to mental illness not having the much needed attention?

A: I think that people don't listen nor give the comfort that is needed. They ignore the situation at hand and it’ll get to the point where it’s too late.

Q: How does being a teen in 2021 affect our mental health?

A: It's difficult, not only are we quarantined but it’s difficult to get the proper help we need.

Q: What can family and friends do to help someone facing a mental health issue?

A: Accept that depression and anxiety exists. My family refuses to believe that depression is a real thing and that anyone could go through that.

Q: What can schools do better to better the mental health of students?

A: Provide more ways to be able to make students more comfortable in sharing with them about how they feel.

Q: What is the biggest stigma around teen mental health?

A: Conditions like depression can cause you to isolate yourself from friends and family, while anxiety can make it difficult to interact with others.

Q: How does culture and ethnicity tie into mental health?

A: I'm not sure, in my case it doesn't but i think some parents force their culture onto their children which can be frustrating and tiring.

Q: How did you realize you needed help? Who did you go to for help?

A: The moment i started scratching my wrists as if i was cutting myself. I went to my guidance counselor at Alonso.

Q: Best advice you could give someone going through a mental illness.

A: Be strong, the cuts on your thighs or wrists is not worth it and it’ll stay with you forever. Not only would you be cutting yourself but also your family's blood. It’ll feel like the world is ending now but, you’ll make it.

Q: Describe your story/journey with depression, anxiety, etc.

A: In 6th grade, I let a boy into my life and he ended up cheating on me. I gave him another chance on the 8th and went on from there. I can say he mentally abused me and pushed me to how I am today. He had cheated many times, screamed at me, and had thrown many fits in public about how I was a terrible girlfriend. I tried to get close to him but I was afraid of it. I know that it's my fault for not leaving sooner. Eventually, he slept with my best friend. It broke me down realizing that anyone can change within seconds. They had hid it from me for months until we got quarantined for the first time. There wasn't much I could do, I started hearing voices in my head about how pathetic I was. He was the person i lost everything to, he made me believe that having sex is normal and that it wasn’t anything that special, so i let him take that away. Eventually we broke up many times but he always said words that drew me back around his fingers. I truly felt nothing but a puppet. I’d cry myself to sleep most nights or cry in my sisters arms. I never spoke up for myself, all the words remained in my head. The next thing I knew, my family was turning their backs at me. They dreamed of me joining the military and to bring home straight A’s and to be successful like my sister. It felt like I had nobody to turn to, I wanted nothing but someone to hug me and make all the pain go away. Everyday, it got harder and harder to not to cry about every little thing. I couldn’t stop crying whenever i was alone and it felt like i was in a dark hole that i couldn’t get out of. There was this Friday, my best friend whom i loved with everything i had, slapped me in the face about how she had feelings for the very ex who abused me the most. I couldn’t handle the pain at that moment and came close to an anxiety attack. It felt like I couldn't breathe properly and everything was closing in while everything was spinning. Everything around me got blurry, i could only see my lap and my tears falling onto them. It got worse as my parents found out i lost my virginity to him that same day and hurt me even more by basically calling me a slut. I was grounded for at least 2 weeks but my dad wouldn’t talk to me. Eventually he came around but it was a deep cut i couldn’t get over. I told my dad about my guidance counselor’s advice that she gave me once was to try something new that i'm deeply interested in. For me, that would be the electric guitar and after a few weeks, he got it for me. The guitar has helped me get through some tough moments but i can’t thank my friend, Ilianys, enough. She’s the reason why i'm still here today and the reason why i haven’t completely broken down yet. She’s helped me be at ease and has been there for me every time i called for her. My guidance counselor has also helped me but not as much as Ilianys has.

Q: How does being in high school help or hurt your personal mental health?

A: I'm forced to see those who hurt me the most be happy and school piles up onto my depression. I lost focus in my classes and struggled to keep up with my classmates.

Q: Do you feel school-based mental health treatments and/or resources are beneficial?

A: Yes, I’ve gone to my guidance counselor whenever i started to feel anxious but it would only help temporarily.

Q: Have you ever had suicidal thoughts?

A: Most of the time. I thought i was never good enough for anything and i could never be anything great so there was no point of me being here.

Q: How has COVID-19 personally affected you?

A: I’ve learned so many things that I would've never known and forced myself to open my eyes to my reality.

Q:What does it mean to have a mental illness?

A: Having to be in constant pain and feel so lost in your own world.

Q: What are warning signs that people should look for?

A: How often they space out and the tone of their voice.

Q: What’s the difference between sadness and depression?

A: Sadness is a feeling in the moment. Depression is a mental illness that affects your mood, the way you understand yourself, and the way you understand and relate to things around you.

Q: Do you feel the resources put in place in our country are beneficial? Have they helped you? (Eg: Suicide prevention hotline etc)

A: Possibly, i’ve never gone to the point where i needed to turn to them but from what i’ve heard, they can be beneficial.

Q: What kinds of people do you think are more likely to have depression?

A: Those who smile and show no sign of depression.